suffering from the personal dilemma of being a person

for most of my life i was suffering from the personal dilemma of being a person. just trying to get along in the world.

i tried to achieve success in all the traditional ways, and for the most part, succeeded. i had all the things society says will make us happy and content…

i had a job most would admire-many skills people long for-a house people loved-all the friends one could wish for-enough money to be comfortable-physical well being-and a loving family. everything we are taught will bring us happiness!

yet i felt terrible, lonely, isolated, and lost…


something was missing and initially i had no idea what…

until i found the teachings that point us back to our true nature. teachings that point to the non-dual aspect, free from suffering.

some call these teachings being aware of awareness, or being in the now, and dare i say ‘spiritual’ (i don’t like to call it spiritual because that is a loaded term).

through these teachings there comes realization that nothing “out there” is the answer to what we seek.  no possession, no money, no job, not even others love is the answer to what we all seek.

what we recognize is that the answer is found within, and it has always been there.

we are what we seek, but we look “out there,” away from it and miss it.

once we turn our attention back toward ourselves, what we have always sought, is found!



The Individual Self is a Machine – A Machine Has No Life

This is a fantastic video by Francis Lucille, The Sacred Act of Perception, explaining why life seems so “lifeless” when we are focused on the individual self, the “machine” self.

3:38 “Only the higher self has the power to perceive. The lower self, and the lower selves, only have the power to transmit, but not to perceive.”

7:04 “That’s why perceiving is higher than transmitting. Transmitting is for the machine. Perceiving is for life, that which is alive.”

…and this video by Ken Wilbur,  when quoting Patanjali, suggests that the individual self is a machine as well.

4:07  ” It’s a case a colossal mistaken identity and as Patanjali said, ‘Ignorance is the identification of the seer with the instruments of seeing’…”

Non-Duality Meeting with Tony Parsons

London 07 Dec 2013

i am not a huge Tony Parsons follower, but i found this video to be well worth watching

give up “wants” and “desires” – instructions not for the little i at all

last night i had an experience of extreme frustration.  there was a knowing that the little i could not do anything to get to the place of no self, to the experience of enlightenment.  there was a knowing that the little i can never get there.  it wanted to get there, but knew it was impossible to get there…from the little me.

i wanted to “do” something to get there, but realized “doing” can’t get us there.  it was very frustrating.  there was a deep knowing that the little i can’t get there, it never will and never can.  nothing can be “done” to get there.  see this Unmani video

3:55 “awareness can’t be viewed because who would be viewing it? awareness isn’t an object, it’s the subject.”

5:03 “anything that isn’t permanent isn’t reliable.”

i guess this is why there are teachings that say give up all ‘wants’ and ‘desires.’  because ‘wants’ and ‘desires’ are from the little me.  

that teaching is not an instruction for the little me to awaken.  that instruction is to stop giving the little me life.  that instruction is not “for” the little me at all.

do not trust the “person” that registers

 Lisa Cairnes – “what was always wanted was this moment”

33m50s “but life will do its little dance like it always does…but it will begin to be seen by no one that more and more…that what was always wanted, was this moment.”

34m46s “that person that registers going between the two is not a friend. that person that registers going between the two is still the sense of self. so dont trust even that register. there is not even a you there to trust it or not, but that one thats registering the difference is still somebody. its not you.  its not telling the truth in any way…the one that registers…the one that registers the difference is just thought energy. and it doesnt matter.

Benjamin Smythe – a very unique and hilarious speaker/teacher!

Benjamin Smythe is a very unique and hilarious speaker/teacher!  hahahahah!  7:09 “everything is toys”  that is so true 🙂

Jeff Foster – death to the seeker

i love this video about non-duality

3:47 “the search is rooted in a rejection of what is.  the search is rooted in a rejection of this…”

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